again

i keep saying that i'll write tomorrow but i am thinking of you now francesca. you were in the bathtub tonight and papa asked, "when did our baby become this little toddler?" and we both agreed it must have been last week in seattle.

there are a lot of things. the way you danced back up for elodie at grandma's house. or maybe how you sit in your chair with a little tiny glass of water using two hands and say "all dee" (all done) when you are through. but to me, a big toddler moment is when you learn to say "again." for some reason, knowing cause and effect, that there is a future and so much more takes you from the pure present where babies live. we were on the ferry heading from grandma's house to seattle and i carried you out on the windy deck. the sky kept turning light and dark as quick moving clouds covered up the sun. the sea was choppy and seagulls surfed in the wind. i turned around to come back inside because it felt pretty intense and you started saying "again" over and over. i carried you back out and you started squealing with happiness. we did it again and again. papa and elodie just laughed at us. it felt so good to be there with you in that moment.