the past two weeks has been an opportunity to glimpse my life from 10,000 feet rather than the myopic mired in details day to day that is my norm. when you are in the center of a storm (or in a safe cocooned place for that matter), it's easy to become one with that energy, with no time to evaluate your decisions. but i firmly believe that every thing that moves us, the good and the bad, has the ability to carry us forward even though it might swallow us for a while.
i lost someone that was woven into the fabric of my life. we weren't great friends but he was a constant and i miss him in this world. i had a chance to go to new york to mourn him with a lot of old friends, long time acquaintances, and loved ones. i mourned his loss and also our mortality and the fragility of our endeavors, big and small.
use your time well.
it made me realize how many insignificant things i hold in high esteem in my daily life. these creature comforts or "little things that make me smile" are typically, but not always, material items. being in a time of deep introspection during the holidays is a tricky thing. i love the holidays, gift giving, merry making, having reverence for the bigger picture, christmas carols. all of it. i stepped away from the computer for these past two weeks and immersed myself in family. times like these aren't meant to negate what you did before but to acknowledge a course correction and to separate the wheat from the chaff. i've tuned out a bit but the noise of products feels insanely loud even in this self-imposed break. it is a constant, conscious choice to not let the non-essential crowd my moments. sure i would look great in that coat that was on sale during black friday but instead i will be cloaked in my uniform of jeans and a sweater. non-descript but hopefully radiating this internal shift. i caught the message but did not take the bait. i'd rather be well rested because i fell asleep reading a book rather than worrying about pinterest, stats, followers or what free items i may or may not negotiate. this doesn't mean i won't ever do those things but i will
choose
to do those things rather than make them the default.
use your time well.
i have a willing mind and heart that i can use to listen to my little ones, to hear them, to engage with them. i can make a connection with a friend or stranger. i am healthy. i have harmony at home. i am able to hold my husband's hand. i can call my loved ones on the phone. i have so much gratitude for all that i can do. i am thankful for this lesson even though it comes through grief.
i'll use my time well.
