Giving Thanks

i have such fond memories growing up of thanksgiving and christmas time. my mother really went out of her way to make our home a warm cocoon filled with music and cheer. she would always invite people over and share whatever meal or treats we had made along with her big smile. i can feel and taste thanksgiving as only she and my stepfather prepare it. everyone has their own idea of what thanksgiving should really be like and i hold every year's up to the ones from my childhood.

because of this, i really yearned to be home for thanksgiving this year. my mother has been quite ill and i honestly don't know how many thanksgivings we have left together. this makes me cry as i type this but also makes me remember i only have now anyway, with anyone. so i booked a ticket to celebrate a thanksgiving with the siblings. i brought francesca as she is still really little and so that michael and elodie could have some much needed time together. it was hard to make the decision to not go as a family but i wanted to be able to just be with my original family if that makes sense. i give thanks for all of the different parts of our heart we have. all of the old memories, all of the memories to come. for every person who has shaped me and helped me as i've stumbled along or strode along confidently 

(because i've done both) through this life. there is no one on earth like a mother. and i want mine to know how very much she means to me.